"I am proud to say I'm a survivor."

I am proud to say I'm a survivor.

Years before I use to get beat by a former boyfriend who I have three children by because he was on drugs. God took him out my life. He murdered a man when he was high on drugs even through I'm sorry that this man lost his life I'm grateful it wasn't me. Now he is serving life in prison. He has been out my life for eight years.

I met my other kids father in which I thought he was a blessing in the making he was never violent in the beginning always sweet said nice things to pick me up when I was feeling bad until out of nowhere a few years down the line.

In 2007, I met my kid's father, someone I thought to be my knight and shining Armor. He was sweet kind and caring. He spent time with my four kids. My Oldest son's father was absent and my other three kid's father is serving life

In prison. He was abusive also. So all along I was just searching for Someone to love me and my kids. I don't have any family in Georgia so it

Got very lonely. In the beginning everything was perfect. He was loving and affectionate with me took time out for my kids something, their father never did. Basically he was the only father my kids ever had.

He once told me in the beginning that he was a very jealous person and looking back I should have taken that as a red flag. But I know now I was just looking for love in all the wrong places. I was wanting love and attention where I didn't care about him cheating the drug use and Alcohol.

I turned to drugs for his attention. It was a habit or anything but drug use is drug use right. I done it so he could stay home and do it instead of going out with other people. I am drug and alcohol free now.

After a while he use to start accusing me of cheating calling me out my name calling me fat ugly telling at me all I was good for was laying on my back and having kids. All the good people I had in my life he turned them against me. I had been isolated

Anything I had on my own that would benefit me was destroyed. Cars Clothes. He brought things for us then took them back. I lost jobs he

Would take keys at last minute, while I was getting ready for work it got to where I had spare car keys made.He would unhook something under the hood of the car. Then sugar in my tank there goes my motor.

I have four children with him he got dna test cause he used to say I sleep around. It's really been a lot and thinking

About all of this is really making me feel some type of way. I'm starting to have flash backs. However. I really want to share my

Story in detail I can't. I have a newborn and I think I have Postpartum depression I'm really feeling bad. With this being said I

Would love to finish I can't. I really. Appreciates you all taking the Time out to want to help me. I don't want to recall any if those

Memories, but I know that in order to heal I must let go and let God.

Once out of nowhere he came into the house and snatched me off the bed and beat me my two month old fell at first I didn't see her because I was in fetal position and I looked up and saw her all I could do is yell the baby the baby don't step on the baby. That led me to have two black eyes. I have been urinated on cigarettes put out on me things from me. I packed up my kids last year and left Georgia and went to North Carolina. I had land lord go to the house after I left and said she was changing locks so he left and I waited months in North Carolina then I came back no contact no nothing so this is how I survived.

My kids are angry all the time becoming violent themselves. I was given something I can't get rid of and that's what also made me stay with him. At one point I wanted to take my life but I chose to live for my kids. I left and now I'm back I just gained employment through a staffing agency but it's a start. I feel a lot better about life now it's just me and my kids standing by not settling for less

I was with him in 2007 where my youngest child was about six months. So at first everything was or seem perfect. He took the responsibilities of my other four kids being a father figure being that one father was absent and the other three father was in prison for murder serving a life sentence. He provided for my kids and me. He stepped up when no one else did. In the beginning he told me he was a very jealous person. Me being naive I didn't take that as a red flag. I see the jealousy here and there but didn't pay attention. So I had a friend he didn't like because she did whatever she wanted and saw different men me and her use to work together.

So one day she was at my house and we were talking not knowing he was standing outside my window. Trying to listen he was drunk he jumped my gate and that's when he attacked me my kids were right there watching when it happened. They were crying wanting to fight him but she pulled them out of the room. It was crazy and I still stayed with him.

For a long time if we argued I was afraid to sleep because I use to wake up to him standing over me. He has never hurt the kids physically. But I know what they saw changed them. The cars that I have brought he tore up. Then he brought me one so he could take the keys so I could not go anywhere. I then had a job. He would take the keys so I couldn't go to work. I eventually lost the job. I wanted to go to school he was like no, go online work from home. I was being controlled. You can't do this you can't do that. I was mentally destroyed. I was called every name in the book.

Thank you Women Are Dreamers Too, for lifting us at our lowest, I am a survivor, I am a dreamer- ID WADT alumni-  '2014