Teen Dating Violence

Teen dating violence can occur in various ways, often involving a pattern of behaviors that one partner uses to exert control and power over the other. It's important to note that dating violence can take place regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Here are some common ways teen dating violence may occur:

1. Physical Abuse: This involves using physical force to harm or intimidate a partner. It can include hitting, slapping, punching, pushing, or any other form of physical harm.

2. Emotional or Psychological Abuse: This form of abuse involves manipulation, controlling behavior, and undermining the partner's self-esteem. It may include insults, name-calling, threats, humiliation, and isolating the partner from friends and family.

3. Verbal Abuse: This includes using hurtful words, yelling, screaming, or belittling the partner. Verbal abuse can be emotionally damaging and create a hostile environment.

4. Sexual Abuse: This occurs when one partner forces or coerces the other into sexual activities without consent. It may involve unwanted touching, pressure to engage in sexual acts, or sharing intimate images without permission.

5. Digital or Online Abuse: With the rise of technology, digital abuse has become more prevalent. It includes behaviors like constant texting or calling, monitoring social media activities, controlling online interactions, or spreading rumors and cyberbullying.

6. Controlling Behavior: A partner may try to control every aspect of the other person's life, including what they wear, who they hang out with, and what they do.

7. Isolation: An abuser may isolate their partner from friends, family, and support systems, making it difficult for the victim to seek help or find a way out of the abusive relationship.

8. Threats: An abuser may use threats to intimidate and control their partner. This can include threats of physical harm, revealing embarrassing information, or harming loved ones.

9. Jealousy and Possessiveness: Excessive jealousy and possessiveness can lead to controlling behavior, accusations, and attempts to isolate the partner from others.

10. Gaslighting: This involves manipulating the victim's perception of reality, making them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Teen dating violence is a serious issue that requires awareness, education, and support. It's crucial for both teens and adults to recognize the signs of abuse and take steps to prevent and address it.

Encouraging healthy communication, respect, and setting boundaries are essential in promoting healthy relationships among teenagers.Adolescents and adults are often unaware that teenagers experience dating violence.

In a nationwide survey, 9.4 percent of high school students reported being hit, slapped, or intentionally physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months prior to the survey (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey). Approximately 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men who have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner first encountered some form of partner violence between the ages of 11 and 17 (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey).

Helpful Tips for Parents:

- Conduct your own research and gather facts before discussing dating violence with your teenager.
- Provide your teenager with examples of healthy relationships and highlight signs of unhealthy behavior. Use real-life examples, individuals you both know, TV shows, music, movies, etc.
- Pose open-ended questions that encourage dialogue. Ensure you actively listen to your teenager and allow them ample opportunity to express themselves. Refrain from interrupting or lecturing.
- Avoid being pushy. If your teenager isn't ready to talk, attempt the conversation at another time.
- Offer support and a nonjudgmental attitude so that your teenager feels comfortable approaching you for help.
- Don't hesitate to admit if you don't know the answer to a specific question. This fosters trust between you and your teenager.
- Reiterate that dating should be enjoyable and devoid of stress.
- Explore options with your teenager if they have witnessed or experienced dating violence.
- Remind them that they have the right to say no, just as others do.
- Assure your teenager that they can confide in you if their relationship feels uncomfortable, frightening, or in any way uneasy. However, it's important to remember that decisions about the relationship should ultimately be theirs to make.

Conversation Starters for Talking to Your Teen:

- Do any of your friends currently have romantic relationships?
- What are these relationships like?
- What qualities do you value in a relationship?
- Have you ever observed instances of dating violence between people you know?
- How did it make you feel?
- Did it cause fear or concern?
- Have you considered what you would do if you witnessed or experienced abuse?
- Have you come across situations where someone posted negative things about a friend online?
- What occurred afterward?
- How would you feel if someone you were dating texted you all day to ask about your activities?
- Why do you think some individuals remain in abusive relationships?
- From your perspective, what characterizes a healthy relationship?