Diddy Accuser Speaks Out After Disturbing Allegations in Rape Lawsuit:

'A Pain That Reaches Into Your Very Core'

Thalia Graves alleged being drugged and raped by Sean 'Diddy' Combs and his bodyguard left her "emotionally scarred" and hard to "even feel safe in my own skin"

The brutal rape allegedly took place more than 20 years ago on a pool table at Bad Boys Records' studio in New York City.

But for Thalia Graves, the alleged attack by Sean 'Diddy' Combs and his then-bodyguard, who she claims drugged her, tied her hands, recorded the rape and showed it to "multiple men," lives on in her mind every single day, she says.

"The internal pain after being sexually assaulted has been incredibly deep and hard to put into words," said Graves, speaking publicly for the first time at an emotional press conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred, on Tuesday, Sept. 24.

"It goes beyond just physical harm caused by and during the assault," she said, sobbing. "It's a pain that reaches into the very core of who you are and leaves emotional scars that may never fully heal."

The live-streamed press conference was held at Allred's Los Angeles office hours after Graves filed a 26-page civil complaint against Combs, 54, his bodyguard at the time, Joseph Sherman, Bad Boy Entertainment and others, in federal court in New York. 

The bombshell complaint comes a week after Combs was arrested on Sept. 16 and charged in federal court with sex trafficking, racketeering and transportation to engage in prostitution.

He pleaded not guilty and has been denied bail twice.

The 14-page federal indictment against Combs included details about how he had allegedly "electronically recorded" freak offs, described as elaborate and produced sex performances that Combs arranged and directed.

Graves is the first alleged victim to come forward and detail how Combs and Sherman videotaped the rape that took place in 2001, when she was 25 and dating a Bad Boy Records executive, the complaint claims.

Graves, who paused after breaking down in tears during the press conference, alleged in the complaint that the now-jailed music mogul allegedly lured her to the studio after giving her a glass of wine that was "likely laced with a drug that eventually caused her briefly to lose consciousness."

When she woke up, Graves says she was naked with her hands tied behind her, the complaint alleges. When she screamed Sherman allegedly "slammed her face down on what was apparently a pool table," it alleges.

"Some of the hardest parts of this pain are the shame and guilt I have experienced that plays a negative part in my day-to-day ability to function properly," she said.

"Being blamed, questioned and threatened has often made me feel worthless, isolated and sometimes responsible for what happened to me," she continued.

During the alleged attack, she threw up on the pool table but "Combs was undeterred," the complaint claims. "He wiped himself off...." and continued to rape her, it alleges.

Noting that she often feels "alone" in her struggles, she said, "I go through spells of being distant and withdrawn that it is sometimes hard to leave my house."

"The trauma of the assault has taken a toll on my mental health. I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I am emotionally scarred. It has been hard for me to trust others, form healthy relationships, or even feel safe in my own skin."

She ended her remarks by saying, "I'm glad that he is locked up, but that's a temporary feeling of relief."

The suit is seeking compensatory and punitive damages "to be determined" in court.

Combs' attorney did not immediately respond to PEOPLE's request for comment. It is unclear whether Sherman has retained an attorney who can speak on his behalf.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

Source: https://people.com/diddy-accuser-speaks-out-after-disturbing-allegations-in-rape-lawsuit-a-pain-that-reaches-into-your-very-core-8717808